tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7709235756019978121.post3363048266132268293..comments2024-01-18T11:30:41.236+01:00Comments on French Cannes Cannes: Le Vous - A Tale of EmbarrassmentUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7709235756019978121.post-78495643897346634842011-10-11T08:42:19.921+02:002011-10-11T08:42:19.921+02:00Hi, Debo. Well, I have a good example of this turn...Hi, Debo. Well, I have a good example of this turning out positive for me...It turns out my gynecologist who is easily in her late 50's, wanted a private yoga lesson with me. I always use the "tu" form with my students (of course I always say, "On peut se tutoyer?" beforehand and my students always are fine and some of them, older woman students, have even shown relief!)<br />Anyway, after our yoga lesson, I saw her at her office, me as her patient and wasn't sure if I needed to go back to the "vous" form or what so for several visits I would just avoid comments with it and then last time I went, I just had to ask if it was okay to say "tu" and she laughed and said it was fine. I suppose this is a rare story, but, nowadays, I think France is kind of mixed and the formalities are still there but there are some folks who will let these formalities slide if they find another person who also wants to let them slide...Voilà, my opinion. And by the way, I didn't know you had a herniated disc!!!Sunny Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16692659652409376155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7709235756019978121.post-27824494199418176852011-10-11T08:19:40.841+02:002011-10-11T08:19:40.841+02:00Ah yes, it's true that with the inlaws we ofte...Ah yes, it's true that with the inlaws we often use the "vous"! My mother used it with my father's parents, which I agree is totally crazy! I thought you meant the extreme cases when children say "vous" to their own mom and dad: even crazier to me!!!<br />But you're right, this whole "vous" thing is a very tricky thing...<br />For your kiné, don't worry, if she's nice, she won't take it bad :)Anabellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00178447113138261177noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7709235756019978121.post-45672734818934830232011-10-11T08:18:35.908+02:002011-10-11T08:18:35.908+02:00No doubt, this is a bit of a stroll down memory la...No doubt, this is a bit of a stroll down memory lane. however here...in the US.....I think that the doctor would be considered to be the "person in power" ... Not the patient. Tho in almost any other business situation (except medicine, law and academia) the client would have the power. I think this is a respect thing due to the significant education on the part of the doctor from back in the day when few people were educated. I wonder if your practitioner thought YOU were out of line in broaching the subject....that it should have come from her? Hard to know as it does seem rather antiquated when two people of the same age are meeting frequently and discussing everything but the kitchen sink! I wonder if she'll get over it?! Hahaha!Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02415022645681628704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7709235756019978121.post-23501784173212879992011-10-10T22:21:41.104+02:002011-10-10T22:21:41.104+02:00Thanks for the info about using "tu" wit...Thanks for the info about using "tu" with bloggers - see how difficult it is to navigate the vous/tu terrain? I hadn't even thought of that situation!French Cannes Canneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08304240638422901959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7709235756019978121.post-77079225639783822172011-10-10T22:19:14.657+02:002011-10-10T22:19:14.657+02:00Non, je ne le prends pas mal du tout - I asked for...Non, je ne le prends pas mal du tout - I asked for your help so thank you for commenting! I completely understand where you are coming from, and I too am annoyed when people use a "tu" with me and I know they are doing it because I look young (like where it would be completely inappropriate). However, I just thought that since she and I were pretty much the same age and since I see her so often, that it wouldn't be strange. I also don't like the hierarchy it creates between people - it irritates me. I feel bad that I may have embarrassed my kiné...it was not at all my intention. I meant to make things less formal and strained between us because it felt very "staged" or "fake". Who are we kidding?! I feel embarrassed now that I have put her in this position...rien à faire je crois. Hopefully she will just chalk it up to me being a crazy American! :-) Also, about the family thing...I don't know anyone who uses the vous with their parents, but I know lots of families who use the vous with their inlaws. I have a friends whose inlaws vouvoyer her! bizarre non?French Cannes Canneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08304240638422901959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7709235756019978121.post-10072444331055631772011-10-10T21:32:54.229+02:002011-10-10T21:32:54.229+02:00No offense, dear FCC (ne le prends pas mal), but y...No offense, dear FCC (ne le prends pas mal), but yes for me it's kind of weird, and if I were her I would have probably felt quite embarrassed.<br />Because in France, we never say "tu" to our doctor unless we personally know him/her. <br />The border between "vous" and "tu" is very thin sometimes, but it makes a big different to go from "vous" to "tu". "Tu" means we're friends (not necessarily close but still, friends). When we use it at work, it goes along with talking about our private life, kids and all.<br />I must be very French because I am offended when someone says "tu" to me in a supermarket for instance just because I look young and they are young too (I should be flattered but it annoys me). I can understant that from an American's point of view it is absolutely ridiculous, but I am always amazed to hear Americans call the doctor/psychiatrist/director of their kids' school by their first name...<br />On the other hand, I find that weird when bloggers say "vous" to each other, to me it sounds out of place...<br /><br />Lastly, I thought that saying "vous" inside the family was very very rare and only in aristocratic or some catholic families...Anabellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00178447113138261177noreply@blogger.com