I had a mini breakdown yesterday. It had everything to do with the fact that I had just performed the night before, was coming down from a performance high, and had the realization that dance classes would not resume for another two months. (In France, pretty much anything fun or remotely interesting closes for at least one month during the summer, August is their favorite month for that.) It didnt hit me right after the performance...the breakdown waited until the next morning to pounce. I found myself becoming more and more depressed as I got ready for work and all it took was one of my colleagues asking me how I was upon arrival to release the tears and create a major scene in the office.
The crying/ sniffling / outright bawling lasted about two hours. I had to excuse myself to get it together and try to look like a normal person again.
When I think about how this must sound to most people, I feel silly. "I'm sad because dance is over." I sound like a kid at summer camp. "I'm sad because I didn't get the chicken nuggets for dinner." But I just cant shake it...nothing can replace this one thing in my life.
In order to gain some sense of control over the situation, I got a gym membership for the summer. It's soooo not the same thing, but at least it keeps me moving and I can rock out / do yoga with my Ipod in the aerobics room when classes are over. I'm also going to try and look for a summer dance workshop in Paris which I'm hoping with spark some sort of something in me....and then, who knows....(this was my friend K's brilliant idea- good no?)
Today was my second time at the gym. I decided to try the Body combat class. Yeah, I know. I would like to apologize publicly to all of the martial artists whose art got butchered in this class. I tried to remind myself that the goal of classes like this is not necessarily learning proper technique, but rather getting a work out, breaking a sweat, getting your heart rate up etc. However, it is rough times to hear the French teacher telling everyone "OUI! OOppAIR COOTE" (upper cut) and then making growling faces at her "adversaire." She encouraged us to make the growling faces too and then mixed it up by throwing in the Tai Chi (sp??) at the same time....OOppAIR COOTE! OOppAIR COOTE! cat pose....respire....oui....KEEECK!!! It was towards the end that she really lost it and had us "Hiyawing!" for the punches.
All this while wearing a "Madonna microphone" and breathing heavily into it during our water breaks. It was all a little much for me and I silently wished that I had jumped on the elliptical instead. The clincher was when one of the other women taking the class started "wooing" and "hiyawing" without being asked to. I'm all about enthusiasm and motivation and all those buzz words, but this lady was beyond inappropriate, starting with her miniature top and WHITE booty shorts. All this to say, I think I'm over Body Combat.
Friday I'm trying Body Balance - and if they butcher yoga or pilates or any other form of body strengthening / relaxing, I'm sticking to the elliptical - FOREVER.