Tic Toc

I am the master of picking up on and obsessing about other people's tics. This one clears his throat, that one scratches her head, someone else sniffs repeatedly - I can make myself nuts waiting for the next sudden movement.  When my brother and I shared a bed as little kids, I would constantly tell him to stop breathing so loud because the repetitive sound drove me up the wall. Yes, I'm the jerk who told me brother not to breathe. 

So, you can imagine my surprise when this morning Copain informed me that I have my very own tic - I know, I know, hard to believe, but after some self-observation, I've come to realize that: (gasp!) it's  true. My friends, my name is French Cannes Cannes and I take big, deep breaths.  Not like the French pfffttt sound - apparently mine are the sign of a constant state of exasperation; as if I'd forgotten to breath for 10 seconds and needed to play catch up with one, deep breath to fill my lungs. It's like I'm randomly doing yogi meditative ujjayi breathing. 

This morning I took a bunch of breaths upon arrival at work, then again when I got coffee, then again when I went downstairs to speak to my work buddies.  When I told them about my revelation / shock, one colleague told me that he can hear me in his office which is adjacent to mine - genial. 

I'm loud-breather girl.

I'm fairly certain, that like most tics, this one is brought on by enormous stress. My shoulders feel like they are up to my ears, my chest feels tight, and when I take those breaths, sometimes it's because I literally feel like I can't breathe. Hmmm, doesn't sound good, does it?

So what's a loud (stressed) breather to do? Go around telling people that oxygenation is all the rage? très à la mode, this whole oxygen thing, you should totally try it. Yeah, somehow I'm not sure anyone's going to jump on the breathing bandwagon...