Le Boucher

My fear of the fromagerie extends to the boucher as well.  Not only is it visually unappealing - ummm, chickens with their still heads attached anyone? - but I also have NO FREAKING IDEA how to order there.

um, one tongue s'il vous plait?

A slice of that...thing...merci.

I've been carefully observing My Very Parisian Friend when she orders from the boucher, but so far I've only learned this:

1. The boucher does not wash his hands between handling your money and handling the meat.

2. MVPF's husband eats 300 grams of steak haché (hamburger meat). 

3. Apparently, that is a lot for one person.

Copain and I have been discussing going to the boucher recently, mainly because he's not allowed to heat up lunch food at his fancy office in the 8th arrondissement. We thought that some cold roast beef or pork roast would be nice instead of your run of the mill sandwich and salad everyday.

On Saturday, we decided that we would attempt to purchase something - but what? I couldn't even count on my Frenchie to help me out with this one, he had no idea either! So, we went with a roti de porc (pork roast).  We figured we wouldn't have to give any additional indications except "enough for four people" s'il vous plait. For future reference, "enough for four people" is about 1 kilo according to our local butcher. Good to know, right?

Another fun fact - 1 kilo of roti de porc at our boucher costs 12 euros. Not bad either!

We hiked up the 5 flights of stairs to our apartment, beaming with pride. We had a roti de porc! From the boucher! As we opened the door, basking in our glory, an unexpected nasty smell wafted into my nostrils....

Copain, did you...?

No, I didn't! I swear! 

Yes you did! It stinks in here! Dude! 

I'm serious! It's not me! ....Could it be the meat? 

I looked down into our plastic bag and saw what could only be the outline of a small chicken wrapped in aluminum foil. It was still warm to the touch. Zut! Of course this would happen on our first attempt  to conquer the boucher. The ol' plastic bag switcharoo.

We hiked back down the stairs and over to the boucher. They had been expecting us and were happy to get their chicken back and give us our roti de porc instead. 

Then I had to figure out how the heck to cook this thing.

a big hunk of meat. (1 kilo, to be exact)

Thankfully, with a little help from Jamie Oliver and some random French website, I was able to mix and match recipes and deliver something edible in just over an hour. 

The beginning of my roti de porc mastery!

We were so excited by our roti, that I forgot to take a photo of the final product, but I can tell you that I got the Copain Approval on the first bite.  Ouf.

Also - very important addition to this blog post - I noticed that my boucher has a dedicated caissière, who only handles money and NEVER touches the meat. Glorious.

I heart my boucher.

Stay tuned for the roti de boeuf, which is next on our list...