Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad, DAY

Here is my new arsenal of mosquito products:

• French version of Deet
• Weird essential oils recommended by the french pharmacy to apply to itchy bites
• A window screen - of which I mistakenly bought the children's version covered in cheap looking cartoon characters. And which is not the right size for my window.
• More Raid plug-ins to permeate my house with anti-mosquito fumes.

After a day of arming myself, I tried to rectify my nastiness brought on by mosquito bites and heat by suggesting that we go out to dinner. I hadn't been the nicest girlfriend in the entire world, and dinner out seemed like a fun way to get out of the "eating dinner on the couch in front The Hills" rut.

We found a great little place that made us forget that we live in the Jet Set cesspool that is Cannes - La Brouette de Grandmère - complete with paté, champagne, red wine, yummy steaks, and a charlotte au chocolate for dessert. Happiness.

We even had nice conversation with the couple next to us who were on vacation and also appreciated the down-home feeling of the restaurant.

After dinner, I decide to set up our second fan to keep the air moving in our stuffy apartment. Unfortunately, in the move, we lost the screws that hold the fan to the base and our only option for an upright fan was to attach it with hard core duct tape - classy! Let me throw in the fact that I was sporting my new eyeglasses for the very first time, sent by mom just two days before from the states (thanks mom!). Having a hard time applying the tape and holding the fan upright at the same time, I asked Copain, who was engrossed in the soccer match on TV, to help me. Only Copain was so engrossed in the match, that when I let go of the fan thinking that he was going to hold it for me, uh...he let it fall in my face - SCRATCHING my new glasses.

So needless to say, I was pissed. The heat, itchy mosquito bites, broken fan, and now scratched glasses was just too much for a girl to handle and I had to go to bed in a total total funk. Only problem - there would be no sleeping for French Cannes Cannes. oh noooooo, sleep for FCC is asking too much. I was kept irritably awake by the noise on our "lively" street, heat in our bedroom with no screen on the window, the French Deet smell that I reapplied at least twice during the night, itchy bites, and pissed off feeling that my new glasses are now scratched.

This morning I'm feeling a bit like Alexander. Little sleep will do that to a person.

Today, I'm returning my cartoon screens and going to buy a net that will hang from the ceiling over my bed. Because I just can't deal with nightly Deet application and insomnia for the rest of the summer.