BREAKING NEWS! Drive By Shitting in Toulouse! Death by Dog Poop!!
Then, Copain, in a grave voice said, "My boss slipped on dog poop today and fell in the cross walk while crossing the street. Dont laugh - he had to go to the hospital."
I couldn't help it - the nervous laugh erupted as I imagined bumbling a Frenchman doing his little hurried walk across the street, when BAM!
Drive by shitting! Death by Dog Poop!
Apparently all that was hurt was his elbow (Copain told me there was blood...oooooooh) and his ego. Plus, the man had to go to the French hospital smelling like shit. Literally.
What do you say when you arrive at the welcome desk? Um, excusez-moi Madame, I seem to have slipped on what appears to be dog shit. Is there a doctor who can examine my elbow? Bonjour Docteur, well, the shit just came out of nowhere - I didn't even see it coming. It just snuck right under my shoe and then I was flying through the air trying to avoid the Peugots and Renaults hauling ass through the intersection. It's a miracle I got out alive!
And PS, only a French person would go to the hospital about their elbow after slipping in dog shit - that's what my tax euros are paying for didn't you know? I might try to drown in a urine puddle tomorrow so that I can win those euros back. However, Death by Dog Piss might be a bit more dramatic.
Thank god there were no sharp edges in that cross walk yesterday. The Drive by shitting may have been even more dramatic than it already was.