Neighborhood Watch - My Quartier Has An IHD.

In an effort to save some euros seeing as how it is "La Crise" and all, I decided to make myself lunch at home. Leftover stuffing, cranberry sauce (I celebrated T-day last Saturday) some weird asparagus soup and cooked carrots plus one two slices of chevre cheese and a clementine for dessert.  (Dont worry, I totally packed some chocolate for later).

Since I have a chiropractor appointment later today and have to leave work a bit early (I'm such a good employee) I only took an hour instead of the hour and 15 minutes I am allowed. 

Well, who did I see on my way back to work (besides the row of pissed off drivers waiting for some guy to unload his truck in my one way street)? You guessed it my friends - Iphone Homeless Dude! We'll call him IHD here. Only guess what he had this time?


His Iphone was shamelessly out and plugged into what looked like a tiny computer thing - like a large gameboy turned horizontally.  Next to all this was a tin box (à la Altoids) and a lighter....who does this guy think he is??!! 

The lighter - ok, I can let that slide.  Even though his money is probably wasted on cigarettes when he could be buying food, I will let that go because he's French and he probably grew up taking drags on Marlboros inbetween breast feedings.  (Please note that this would not be accepted if the IHD was American - and especially a Californian).

The tin can - well yes, that too I can accept.  A guy needs some kind of recipient for sorry-feeling passers by to leave spare change.  The tin is a necessity.

We all know how I feel about the Iphone - but now this! Now accessories! Does he have a Wifi connection too? (is he stealing mine??!!) Where does he charge it? Where do they send his bills? Obviously, the IHD is playing us all...

Either that, OR French Riviera Homeless Peeps are just more glamourous than your average homeless guy.  They have to keep up with the Jones' because hey, they live in Cannes - they're not just any homeless person.  They are French Riviera baby - iphones and all!

My theory may be correct, but I draw the line at homeless people carrying their mangy dogs and iphones in Louis Vuitton bags. The minute I see this in Cannes I'm out. I don't care how much their monthly government stipends are.

I may be Cannes' only hope to stop this madness. I must send a notice around my quartier letting them know that we have an IHD roaming the streets...maybe I will organize a neighborhood watch. I'm sure I can get Madame on the second floor to take the day shift...

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