Zee Docteur

"Well, Madamoiselle, eet seems to be a moosle connected to your L2 zat eeze causing all zee trouble," explained Dr. F.

"Which muscle exactly would that be?" I asked.

"It eeze a combination of moosles really (rattles off lots of complicated French anatomical references that are impossible to follow) zat are making zee pain."

"Hmm. ok..."

"But we are going to do an eex-ray to ensure zat zere eeze no additional dammage on zee bodee," he continued.

"Ok, that sounds good. Now what about the reason why I am feeling a nerve in my lower back/butt area and then down my leg?"

"Zat eeze because a nerve is beingk affected by zee moosele attached to your L2 zat eeze out of zee place."

"And what do you think about my dance classes? Do you think I can go?  I am very worried about worsening this problem - especially since my dance teacher is very intense - I mean she is the one who made me do the movement that started this whole mess in the first place! And now I have been to the doctor at least 7 times and I really want to know what it going on because let's be honest, how are we going to fix it if we don't know what it wrong in the first place - also do you think that if the x-ray comes back inconclusive that we can consider physical therapy in order to try and solve any of the imbalances that are perhaps causing this issue?"

"Mademoiselle (sighs), you a leeetle too Americaine - you ask why eet eeze erting, zee names of zee moosles...you want to know ow we weel fix zis. You need to try to be a leetle more like zee French - tell yourself, eh, sheet appens."

So there you have it. I'm a leetle too Americaine for zis guy.