Les Gens du Metro
The Text and Walkers
The metro is a place of transit - of moving - of getting to the final destination. The Text and Walkers are those very considerate people who like to communicate 24 hours a day. Even when you want to get past them on the stairs - even when you want to move faster down the hallway. Sorry, you'll have to wait for them to send their text.
The women who just didn't have enough time for foundation, lipstick, eyeliner and mascara at home. The metro becomes a full beauty salon complete with mirror, wide-mascara eyes and hair fiddling to finish off the look. Not just a touch up people, a FULL face of makeup application. No shame...
Still in full effect.
One minute you're on line 1 going in the direction of Chateau de Vincennes, the next you're starting to get that creepy feeling that...wait - is someone staring at you? Oh oui, oui they are - that guy in the seat across the way. And he just. won't. stop. No matter how aloof you pretend to be, how wrapped up in your book /iphone/finger nail you try to feign, you just can't shake the creeper feeling. Doors opening, you running...
The Field Trippers
Groups of small people, groups of foreign people, groups of any kind - avoid. Like the plague.
The Feel Bad for Me-ers
You want to feel bad for them, but somehow their sad speech seems memorized - a robot, pretending to be a homeless person. And you just can't seem to hand over that ticket resto, that 50 cent piece, that extra granola bar in your purse. As they walk out of the metro car and into the next wagon over to start their speech again, you see them light up a cigarette and you think to yourself, "if they were really that hungry, wouldnt they have popped for a baguette intead?".
The Listen to Me Play-ers
American Idol wannabes, these gems pop into the metro fully equipped with a speaker, microphone and cup for coins. The problem - sometimes you don't want to hear Oh Champs Elysees played on the trumpet with back up singing as you commute to work at 9am.
The Stand Still-ers
On par with the Text and Walkers in terms of annoyance factor, the Stand Still-ers just...stand still. In the middle of a crowded transfer tunnel. Blocking foot traffic. Acting either lost or just bewildered. Two words: Pull over.
Who have I missed?!