The palm trees swayed, the water glistened, and just when it seemed that the moment could not get more romantic, he reached over to touch my leg - looked into my eyes and said...
Why is your skin all wavy? It's weird - it's all... bumpy.
Yes, ladies and gentleman, Copain was referring to the lovely bit of cellulite that decided to settle in on the side of my thigh years ago. Cellulite that I have tried over and over again to forget, to ignore, to rationalize as something normal and not worth making a big deal about. That cellulite.
While I tried to think of a answer that was nicer than biting his head off and throwing him in the pool, I wondered, what man in his right mind asks a woman about her cellulite??!!! One would think that after 8 years with the same person, A. He would have already noticed said cellulite, and B. He would have learned that this subject, along with weight gain and dieting suggestions were off limits under any and all circumstances.
Clearly, Copain did not get the memo.
Later at dinner, when I handed him the bill and told him that he owed it to me after commenting on my wavy/bumpy skin, he explained to me that it wasn't his fault if men were from March and women were from Venus.