Too much commitment, too much stress, too much yes and not enough no, too much tension, too much ohmygodwhydidIsayIwoulddothattoo, Too much staying up late, too much pushing through, too much eating for comfort, too much 30, 30, 30, too much, too much, too much.
And now it is July.
My first weekend of no plans. My first weekend alone (Copain is in London, whooping it up with the boys for another 30th birthday extravaganza). I slept until 11 this morning, made coffee in my old Italian moka and started reading through my long lost bloggers...it's been awhile n'est pas?
I finally took some time to read my friend's new design blog - actually read it and look at the photos and dream along with her and make a real, live comment - gasp! Something I never could have done in June.
Despite an entire week of rain and praying for a little inkling of sun, something to call it summer, today I want it to rain. Rain, rain, rain. I want to hole up with movies and pjs and more Italian moka coffee and do laundry and bake muffins...all of those things that got pushed to the wayside in June.
June was a major wake up call. My body literally broke down and I found myself sending apologetic emails to friends for having not responded to texts, emails and calls for weeks. It was the most unhealthy I have ever been. Thankfully, I have friends and family who saw that I was on the brink, and upon arriving in the states, took away all of the stress that I was feeling... they literally took my 12 days and turned them into getaways and massages. I was just along for the ride because I couldn't cope with much of anything else.
Now I wonder how I will prevent all of June from happening again. How will I find some time for creativity and stretching and breathing and music and all of those things that I've been missing for so long...
Ah, it's raining... thank you universe....