Too Much

June was too much.

Too much commitment, too much stress, too much yes and not enough no, too much tension, too much ohmygodwhydidIsayIwoulddothattoo, Too much staying up late, too much pushing through, too much eating for comfort, too much 30, 30, 30, too much, too much, too much.

And now it is July.

My first weekend of no plans. My first weekend alone (Copain is in London, whooping it up with the boys for another 30th birthday extravaganza).  I slept until 11 this morning, made coffee in my old Italian moka and started reading through my long lost bloggers...it's been awhile n'est pas?

I finally took some time to read my friend's new design blog - actually read it and look at the photos and dream along with her and make a real, live comment - gasp! Something I never could have done in June.

Despite an entire week of rain and praying for a little inkling of sun, something to call it summer, today I want it to rain. Rain, rain, rain. I want to hole up with movies and pjs and more Italian moka coffee and do laundry and bake muffins...all of those things that got pushed to the wayside in June.  

June was a major wake up call.  My body literally broke down and I found myself sending apologetic emails to friends for having not responded to texts, emails and calls for weeks.  It was the most unhealthy I have ever been.  Thankfully, I have friends and family who saw that I was on the brink, and upon arriving in the states, took away all of the stress that I was feeling... they literally took my 12 days and turned them into getaways and massages.  I was just along for the ride because I couldn't cope with much of anything else. 

Now I wonder how I will prevent all of June from happening again.  How will I find some time for creativity and stretching and breathing and music and all of those things that I've been missing for so long...

Ah, it's raining... thank you universe....

Turning 30 Isn't So Bad...

Copain's birthday month continues.  We just about froze our derrières off in Toulouse last weekend with the grand froid that had taken over everything. But it felt good to be in la ville rose, walking around my old streets and re-visiting my favorite places.  We were spoiled rotten with foie gras (I think we ate it four times!), and Copain was celebrated by his maman and papa. 

I also revealed our surprise birthday destination with a little game that Copain's maman helped me create.  I asked her questions about his childhood ahead of time to prepare game cards, and then he had to get the correct answer to take off each layer of wrapping paper (there were 6 layers!).  Questions included the name and arrondissement of the hospital where he was born, his first word, what he wanted to be when he grew up, and his favorite gouter (snack) when he was a little boy.  We played it Who Wants to Be a Millionaire style and he was able to "call a friend" - AKA mom or dad, in case he needed help.  I learned a thing or two about Copain that day - he likes yogurt cake, wanted to be a video game tester and was born in the 8th arrondissement.  First words: pa pa pa pa.  (Which did not please ma ma ma ma).

So where are we going next weekend, you may ask...Amsterdam! Where we will freeze our derrières off once again!  I just read this article from Cup of Jo which makes me A. shiver and B. hope that we get to ice skate on the canals too! (I'm bringing my snow shoes just in case I can't hang - think it's too much?)

This weekend was all about the party that Copain's friends convinced him he should organize.  Where I was very honest with myself about my distain for party organizing , Copain got sucked in and made a facebook event for a night out in Paris.  He stressed about it ALL week and totally sucked me in too.  I had to play the "don't worry! It's going to be fun!" card, until his best friend from London surprised him on Friday night, and he realized that yes, this would be an enjoyable weekend.  Quelle stresse!

As Claude Nougaro would say, Oh Toulouse, Oh Toulouuuuuuuse...

Copain and I met just to the right of the pink awning in 2004.

As I walked to meet a friend for coffee, I happened upon the sign for the Cité Administrative. Oh the horror! It brought back all of the pep talks I had to give myself before applying for working papers with grumpy fonctionnaires (city workers). Ce n'est pas possible mademoiselle!

Copain, Belle Mère and I took a tour at the marché Victor Hugo...

Florists closed because of the grand froid! Yes, it was that cold.

Our aperitif before our diner gastronomique. Très fancy.

Saint Sernin. Copain's favorite spot in Toulouse that I have also come to love.

I wanted to velo!

Mise en bouche at O'Saveurs.

Copain's entrée 

My entrée (foie gras - again!) I can't help myself.

Plat - quasi de veau avec legumes d'hiver...so tasty!

Birthday cake!

Mignardises - guimauve, mini financier, pâte de fruit...

The big surprise on Friday night...happy Copain.

Grasse Matinée

I had big plans to make big plans for Friday night. I would call a copine, we would get margaritas or kir or some other girly cocktail and talk, talk, talk about our holiday vacations. Then it would be getting late and we would be getting hungry, so we would go find yummy food and order une bouteille de vin and talk, talk, talk some more until it was time to call cabs and fall into bed.  Copain had man-plans with Chinois (TV, beer, etc), so it was the perfect night for me to have girl-plans.